Why am I here?

I was meant to know how.

My negligence should have killed me.

Why am I here?

He trusted in my ability.

We're only going to die for our arrogance.

Why am I still here?

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“Son, are you ready?” Dad says.

“Yeah, I guess?” I say.

“Okay,” he says, attempting to set all of the knobs and dials in their correct positions.

I sigh deeply and plop into the driver's seat of Pathfinder. I don’t know if I’m really ready to fly it, despite what I told Dad. But I know I must learn fast, and to do that I must learn by doing. Else I’ll be stuck on this trash planet until I die. I’m a little scared, but Dad is by my side, so he can help me if anything goes wrong.

“Alright, check systems,” Dad says.

I look at the displays and realize that I don’t know what half of them do. But I do know the important ones, like the engine speed, temperature, and speed dials.

“Err… systems nominal?” I say wearily.

“Okay,” he replies. “Hit the defroster.”

I eye all of the switches for a moment, deciding which one looks like the defrost switch. I decide to flick a faded blue switch toward the middle of the “dashboard”. I hover over it momentarily and look at Dad, waiting for approval. He peeks over and nods subtly, then quickly goes back to doing his pre-flight checks. For a minute, it is silent except for the flicking of some switches.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” he asks.

It takes a moment for me to realize that he meant I should start the engines. First, I turn off the defroster, then I double-check that the engines are set to VTOL. I push the throttles up.

The engines slowly ramp up and the craft begins to shudder. A subtle creaking is heard as the craft’s hull takes on the weight of itself.

“Keep her steady, now,” Dad says.

I think about telling him, “I’m trying,” but I keep it to myself; I need to focus, because I haven’t studied enough to be talking while I’m driving.

I hear the scraping of the skids on the concrete ground as they flip backward.

With the ship now in the air, I ever so slightly push the tilt levers for the engines.